It takes 15 seconds, and it tells you exactly where you stand

Plenty of one-on-ones amount to a progress report wearing a calendar invite. You run through your task list, your manager gives a nod, and you walk out with the same understanding you walked in with, meaning no real sense of your standing. In Baltimore's offices, hospitals and campuses, that blind spot is expensive. In the Women in the Workplace 2025 study by McKinsey and LeanIn, researchers found that 93 women are promoted to manager for every 100 men, and that the figure drops to 74 for women of color. The same research showed 80% of women want a promotion compared with 86% of men, and that the difference vanishes when women get equal support. Every useful step in getting support starts with gathering facts, and the first fact to gather is the answer to one plain question: "When my name comes up, what do people say?"

The questionnaire

Looking back across your last four one-on-ones, respond with a simple yes or no to each prompt. No one is scoring this but you, and that is intentional.

Q1. You are aware of the metric your manager is being judged on during this quarter.

Q2. Over the past month, you raised a query about where you stand, rather than limiting yourself to questions about the task at hand.

Q3. You can name the projects of yours that your manager mentions when she speaks with her own superior.

Q4. Your manager has talked openly, in your hearing, about what your next position could look like.

Q5. You can say what your manager would most like you to change in the way you work.

Q6. At least some of the topics on the agenda come from you.

Q7. The last time you shared a win, you explained what it was worth, not only that it happened.

Q8. You have the date of the next talent review or calibration meeting written down.

Q9. Sometime within the last quarter, you posed the question, "When my name comes up, what do people say?"

Question ten. When your last one-on-one ended, you walked away with a piece of knowledge you lacked when it began.

Reading your score

Eight to ten: you are up to speed. Your one-on-ones are doing their job. You use them to gather intelligence, not just to report, and your manager knows what you want and when.

Four to seven: partly briefed. This is the most common score, and it can be improved. Your work is strong and you report on it accurately, yet your manager receives status updates when she could be receiving a persuasive case for you.

Zero to three: you are navigating without a map. That is not a character flaw. Nobody explained that a one-on-one is really a contest for a manager's attention, and because managers seldom offer that kind of insight unprompted, yours probably hasn't either.

Actions to take

If you scored eight to ten, pose the question this week regardless, and pay attention to anything that differs from the last time you asked. Standing shifts, and it shifts quietly.

If you scored four to seven, shorten your status list by half before the next one-on-one and use the freed-up minutes to ask one question about what comes next. The status list can go in an email, and your manager will likely be relieved.

If you landed in the zero-to-three band, open your next one-on-one, whether in Columbia or Essex, by asking the question first. Fifteen seconds. Then stop talking. Everything your manager gives you in response, down to the pause before she speaks, tells you where you stand. When the reply comes back quickly and with specifics, your name is being discussed, and you finally know the substance of those conversations. When the reply is slow to arrive, your name is not yet part of those discussions, and that knowledge reaches you months before a performance review would have delivered it.

Tally your yeses, then forward this to the most effective one-on-one manager you know.